We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teachings about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Therefore, let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instructions about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. ANd God permitting, we will do so. It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace. Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed recives the blessing of God. But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless and is in danger of being cursed. In the end it will be burned. Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are confident of better things in your case - things that accompany salvation. God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.

- Hebrews 5:11 - 6:10

I need solid food... to taste the coming kingdom. But am I ready to challenge myself in such ways? If I really put my trust in him in this way, will I come back satisfied? When hurt and pain accompany life in these ways... will I revert back to drinking simple milk? Sometimes I question why I do some of the things I do in this life. When will I be able to release the passions I have in my life and truly be free to glorify him through what I truly... truly desire to do with ALL my heart. When will the passions and desires of my heart meld into glorifying him with ALL that I am? Hot, lukewarm, or cold... when will the passions of a nation united by his blood finally go out into this world and claim it for him.